Jun 30

2014

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Beliefs

I’ve been struggling hard about this particular subject recently.  Some external factors have forced me to really sit down and reconsider what my views are..  and I’ve come to the conclusion that beliefs are nothing to be proud of.

Believing something isn’t an accomplishment.  I had been raised thinking that beliefs are something integral to who you are.  That it is imperative to believe in God, or to have a strong opinion on politics.

Beliefs are easy.  The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because the strength of your belief is only the intensity in which you resist questioning yourself.  As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you have made it a part of your ego.

Listen to any “die-hard” conservative or liberal talk about their deepest beliefs.. and you’re listening to someone who will never hear what you say on any subject that matters to them.  Unless you believe the same, that is.

It feels good to talk forcefully.  It is gratifying to be agreed with.  It is easy to have beliefs and block out everyone and everything.  It’s so burden-free and soothing to see things in black and white. Your mind thanks you for giving it a mental shortcut.  Hah.

Wherever there is a belief, there is a door that is closed.

I want to take on beliefs that stand up to my most honest, humble scrutiny.  I want to always be open to change and for my beliefs to fear me and not the other way around.

The older I get, the more I feel that I know nothing.  And I’m happy feeling this way. 🙂

Feb 25

2014

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Realistic Love

I love her intensely, but not obsessively.

We disagree a lot but never fight, because we know how to communicate.

I would die for her, but I would not kill for her.

We sacrifice for each other, but not needlessly.

She is a big part of my world, but not the only part.

And I don’t have to prove I love her, nor does she need to prove to me.

Nov 07

2013

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The dangers of Venting

When I feel the need to vent about someone, I want to try and point out their good qualities too.  We all get angry or upset at even the most beloved in our lives; sometimes more so because you are so close to each other.  But seeing other friends doing the same thing with me have honestly made me irrationally hate people I’ve never met.  All I hear are their flaws and the things they do to hurt someone I care about and it makes me angry.

When I need to bend someone’s ear, I want to keep that in mind so that they build a well-rounded image of the person I’m venting about.

Oct 23

2013

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Little Mistakes

The fact is, confident people don’t worry about making little mistakes.  They make mistakes and wave it off.  Of course everyone makes mistakes.

The illusion of only getting friends and relationships by pulling off a flawless combo of social interactions is the driving force for socially awkward people.

The fear of making a mistake is far more damaging than the act of making the mistake.

Oct 17

2013

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Fate

I used to believe in fate.  Or at least I know I tried to believe in fate.  Things are easier to deal with when “it’s all for the best.”

Failure.

Disappointment.

Rejection.

Loneliness.

But I believe now that fate is just another way to dodge responsibility.  It’s an excuse to make the same mistakes over and over, telling yourself that it’s all part of some master plan.

Fate is a make-believe light at the end of a make-believe tunnel.. and that’s not okay.

I want to be accountable for my choices.  I want to feel completely the pain of my mistakes.

My choices and the subsequent consequences of those actions define who I am.

And even if fate is real.  Even if there exists a tunnel.  Even if there exists a light at the end of the tunnel…

I would want to carve my own path.  I would want to reach the end on my own terms.

Oct 03

2013

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The irony of beauty

As the great botanist Bichat long ago said, if everyone were cast in the same mould, there would be no such thing as beauty. If all our women were to become as beautiful as the Venus de’ Medici, we should for a time be charmed; but we should soon wish for variety; and as soon as we had obtained variety, we should wish to see certain characteristics in our women a little exaggerated beyond the then existing common standard.

– Charles Darwin

Ah, the irony of beauty.

Oct 03

2013

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Kindness

Be kind.

Do not be nice, but be kind.  The difference is subtle, but important.

A nice guy inherently expects something in return. His satisfaction lies in the reward for being nice.

A kind person is on his own accord, and has no expectations of reciprocation. His satisfaction lies in the act of being kind.

Be kind, my friend.

Sep 13

2013

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Stoicism

stoicism (n.) – the practice of being unaffected by misfortune. A stoic will recognize that mishaps will inevitably occur so he is constantly ready and open to experiencing them. Unlike pessimists, stoics expect bad things to happen only because they recognize that this is the nature of reality.

They understand that everything in life is a cycle– good cannot exist without the bad. Ups without downs. Good or bad, up or down, yin or yang, stoics see all experiences as learning experiences.

Sep 05

2013

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Fear of Children

my mom had a house, a husband, and a career, but she still felt her life wasn’t completely fulfilling and purposeful, and she thought children were supposed to fill those vacancies in her life. we might have filled some of those empty holes in her life, but we couldn’t fill all of them and make her happy and satisfied and give her life purpose and meaning. those are things she needed to look for within herself, but instead she chose to burden two infants with the task of creating meaning in her life. we failed at that task, and she resented us for it. she resented us not only for our failure to make her happy with her life, but also for using up all of the time, energy, and resources she might otherwise have used to find that thing that would give her life meaning and purpose.

kona_kona @ reddit.com

This is like nightmare scenario for me.  As I grow older and the social pressure of settling down and having kids begins to rear its ugly head, I have to take a step back and take a hard look.

Kids are no joke, and I’d have to be absolutely sure that I want them.  Eesh.

Aug 12

2013

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Preach

People preach what they themselves need to hear the most.

If this is true, what does my blog say about what I need to hear most?