Jul 25

2013

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Diploma, Money, Marriage, Bible

People don’t want to learn, they want paper that tells them they have learned.
People don’t want to live a life of value, they want paper that tells them they have value.
People don’t want to be in love, they want paper that tells them they are in love.
People don’t want to experience God, they want paper to tell them what God is.

I take it back.  It’s not that people don’t want these things.  Of course, who doesn’t want knowledge, money, love, and (for some) spirituality.  It’s that people tend to get caught up in the illusion of those things.  That somewhere along the line, they lose their way.

And it’s so easy to make that mistake.  It’s so easy to equate knowledge with a diploma, money with value, love with marriage, and God with the Bible.

Or maybe that’s just me projecting myself onto others.  Maybe there’s nothing wrong with living a life of paper.  Who am I to judge?

/ramblings

Jul 15

2013

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Sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Source: Link

Jun 26

2013

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Life is Beautiful

This gem is why Reddit is so amazing.  It allows for people to come together and share their unique experiences and perspectives that you just cannot find anywhere else.  Life is beautiful, from user MalachiMos @ reddit.com:

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Jun 20

2013

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California

I think I may be in love with this beautiful state.

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Jun 14

2013

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Batmanning

Bruce Wayne watched his own parents die when he was like.. 10?  Then he was this dark, disturbed high schooler who went to a Gotham private high school and eventually to Gotham State majoring in Criminology and Engineering.

He then treks around the world learning martial arts and making connections he’ll use later in his transformation into the Dark Knight.

Batman wasn’t really Batman until he was 25 according to Frank Miller, and he had been working on this identity since his parents died.

That’s 15 years of working on himself before he even saw the results of his labor.  That’s 15 years of working on yourself before your personal crime fighting project takes flight.

Being awesome takes work.  Being awesome takes time.  Don’t ever lose sight of this.

Jun 12

2013

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Love, no matter what

Jun 03

2013

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Til Death Do Us Part & Divorce

Til Death Do Us Part

Everyone knows that part of the marriage vow– “Til death do us part.” It’s sweet, it’s sentimental, and it conveys that marriage is a commitment for life.  But consider this:

After 30 years of marriage, if you had a heart attack and died on the way to the divorce lawyer, everyone would’ve gone, “Oh wow, 30 years together… what a successful marriage!”  But 30 years and you actually divorce?  Oh no.  That’s a failed marriage.

It’s because we (society) define success in marriage as death.  It doesn’t matter how miserable you were, whether it was an abusive relationship or one of lifelong resentment and misery.  It doesn’t matter if it was fulfilling.  If somebody’s getting buried and you’re still married, success!

The silver lining of divorce

There’s always a stigma surrounding divorce.  But what people don’t realize is that divorce is a deliberate choice by one or both parties.  It’s an opt-out.

It’s not like it’s an unfortunate unforeseen accident that just happens to couples.  “Oh did you hear about poor Jim?  Yeah he was just out walking his dog and fell into a divorce!  What are the chances!”  Hahaha.

But there’s something about realizing that marriage is opt-in/opt-out.  With the possibility of divorce, it’s almost like you have to earn your partner’s presence in your life.  Nothing can be taken for granted.  It forces people to try to be happy with each other (omg) and good to each other.

You can’t take your partner for granted in a way that you could when it was one woman, one man, for life.

And in the wake of failed marriages, it allows for the ones that persevere– the ones that endure– to blossom.

May 31

2013

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Gloves

We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.

 

When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.

 

It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being– soft and unrepeatable.

Mark Nepo

May 30

2013

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Bowl of Pho

It was a Houston summer– hot and sticky.  We had just come home from church, and I was in a terrible mood.  Why do we always have to wake up and go?  I just want to sleep in.  And I hate wearing this suit.  My mom yells at me because I keep teasing my sister.  My dad walks through the door carrying a plastic bag.  He doesn’t attend church with us, that lucky dog.  He tells us he bought pho.  As we’re changing out of our nice clothes, he begins to warm up the broth and get everything ready.  Pho’s become a weekly tradition for our family.  He lays out 5 bowls, putting the noodles in each.  I notice that 2 of the bowls didn’t get as much as the rest.  He casually mentions that he and mom don’t really like eating the noodles.  I don’t think much of this.  They’ve always preferred more rice in their broth.  He scoops rice into their 2 bowls, and then pours in the broth, and pho is ready!  We all gather around the table, and then we eat.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized what the implications of that were.  It just seemed normal, as if all other families did this.  I knew we didn’t grow up as privileged as some of the other kids at school, but I never felt like our family was missing anything.  And looking back, they did a mighty fine job shielding us from a lot of the realities of our situation.

I would be so lucky if I could only inherit a quarter of their strength.

May 29

2013

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This is water

Commencement speech excerpt by the late David Foster Wallace

TL;DR: Be compassionate.  Be present.  And have a sense of humor.

This video also brings to light the fact that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, and others by their actions. (environmental vs. dispositional attribution)